Learn the Power of Self-love as you are Forever Loved
Are you feeling overwhelmed and stuck in a negative mindset? Or perhaps you’re looking for ways to spread love and kindness around your community. Regardless of the situation, self-love is something that can be beneficial for both yourself and others around you. As young adults, it's important that we find ways to stay positive when life can seem overwhelming or difficult. Through care for ourselves, we are able to give back by uplifting those who need it most – whether that’s our friends, family members or strangers on the street. In this blog post, let's dive into why self-love should become an integral part of our lives & how it can have an impact beyond ourselves! Let’s jump into my childhood story as I break it down into four phases of my journey: the pain, decision, transition and ultimately the destination.
As I reflect back on those memories of my youth, I can still feel that same overwhelming sense of
hopelessness and sorrow that I felt in those moments of despair. My greatest hope then was to please my parents, yet they had no understanding or consideration for my needs or emotions. Despite the anger and suffering, it is still clear to me why I turned out the way I did: I was trying in vain to make their elusive love and understanding reality, but instead confronted a structure of violence that built walls around my own feelings and emotions. One thing is certain though - these tumultuous experiences helped to shape me into the person I am today; for better or worse.
After bearing the emotional and physical strain of bullying, being burdened with adult-like responsibilities, and not having anyone understand my struggles, I had reached a breaking point. Each new day felt like a heavy burden and I was so desperate for relief from the pain that I no longer wanted to take part in this world. The only way out seemed to be to escape this world forever. Feeling numbness as the goal, I entered my bedroom closet, my hands reaching out for my neck hoping it would bring me to a place where my worries and pain no longer existed.But then something stopped me - a faint flickering of light that brought with it a glimmer of hope.
That very moment allowed me to realize there were other solutions and suddenly that darkness didn't seem so enthralling anymore. With renewed courage, I opened up the door of my closet and emerged into the bright sunshine that symbolized a new chance at life. As I thought of my older brother, it felt like a lifetime ago since I had last seen him lying there in his motorized bed. Those machines whirring around and over his paralyzed body was a reminder that life could be so unjust. Constantly I questioned and pondered what he must have been thinking at these moments? Was he still alive and well? My thoughts led me to the realization that if we are given life and breath, then it is our own choice as to how we live it; no one can take away the autonomy of creating a future for ourselves. Upon this realization I swore never to allow misery to overtake me, never to blame my predicament on another but only learning from my experiences and striving forward. With each step forward I can create something that my dear brother never had a chance to do; living life with whatever cards were dealt with courage, resilience, and a hopeful spirit.
Setting out to alter the course of my life was quite a challenge; the transition was not smooth, and I often felt riddled with doubt and fear. Time after time, it seemed so much simpler to return to my old routines and habits than take on what appeared to be unattainable objectives and make an imprint on the world. My
determination remained unshaken however, as I made a commitment to start from scratch, examining all facets of my life and identify how I could, in this moment, create pathways for a brighter future. When I returned to school I found myself animated by newfound reason - I had never considered how studying could lead me towards something bigger than myself! As I worked through my therapy sessions I made the conscious decision to confront my inner demons and let out all of the pain and suffering I felt deep inside. This allowed me to make peace with things that had happened in the past that were not my fault - coming to terms with these choices allowed me to form a new, healthier perspective about myself. Even though it was hard work, accepting that there are people in this world who make bad choices was an important healing step for me. As I learned more about the importance of forgiveness and letting go of resentment and bitterness, I could sense a new energy forming in my life as I gradually abandoned old habits and embraced new ways of thinking that were kinder, gentler and more compassionate towards myself. It was a long journey to forgiveness, but in the end I knew my heart had moved on from the turmoil of what happened. In hindsight, I realized the importance of laying down any grievances I may have had towards my father and instead focus on bettering myself. With this realization, I knew that even if my dad remained locked away for 15 years or until I was 21 years old, it wasn't necessary for me to carry that burden around as well. Though the experience had been difficult and very dark in nature, it served as an immense learning lesson by showing me first hand how wrongdoings can affect a person's life. My newfound strength and ability to forgive allowed me to take on whatever stood between me and my goals going forward while never letting myself forget what I went through. Now more than ever I am determined to use this experience as inspiration - serving as motivation to live my best life and make this world just a little bit brighter.
My journey has been long and filled with unexpected twists and turns, but I am proud of the triumphs that have come along the way. From working hard and striving in school to being accepted as one of the high school valedictorians, to being granted a Navy scholarship for college - all of these accomplishments are a testament to my dedication to achieving great things. I've always yearned for an opportunity to serve in the military, which began years ago when I was in middle school. Helping others had always been a part of who I am; those few people who truly believed in me and helped guide me through childhood inspired me to seek out this chance. It's also a way for me to give back for every ounce of support bestowed upon me throughout my life travels. Now, I bravely pursue this goal with hope tucked into my heart and success on the horizon.
During my time in foster care, I always had a yearning to have the same opportunity as so many of my peers to attend college and pursue my ambition of working in the STEM field. Little did I know that I would one day be able to take advantage of this opportunity through dedication and hard work. Thanks to the guidance I received while in foster care, I was able to graduate with a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering. After commissioning into the US Navy, I haven't stopped learning and growing; currently, I am investing in commercial real estate with an aspiration for financial freedom for my family within the next ten years. It is not riches or fame which drives me on this journey but rather independence from the limits imposed by money. Ultimately, financial freedom means true freedom with more time and choices at my disposal; something worth striving for. Growing up, I was inspired and deeply moved by that little boy who embodied such courage and selflessness. His story remains a guiding light for me and drives my ambition to live life to the fullest in order to make a positive change in this world. Because of him, I strive to accomplish three goals in life. Firstly, I want to be a loving husband and father for my family - one who is always present for them through all walks of life, so that they can feel loved and never doubt my affection. Secondly, I long to help others by creating solutions for challenges such as energy sustainability, water conservation, food sustainability and waste management. Through this collective effort we have the ability (and responsibility) to make our earth a safe haven for all humankind - something that we should be proud of making possible together. If I could use my experiences to empower foster youth and help them create a brighter future, I would dedicate my life to that mission. No title, wealth or fame could bring me as much joy and purpose as providing support and guiding these kids who are facing immense hardships. Helping foster youth find strength when everything may seem hopeless and reach their goals by believing in themselves is how I can make the world a better place. It would be such an honor to make an impact and provide hope for this community that needs it so much. In doing this, I know my brother in heaven will smile down on me for helping others who need it the most. All of us deserve the opportunity to be successful in life. That is why I vow to help create a community that empowers each and every one of us to make the right mindset shifts to find our true success. We can achieve this by providing scholarships for secondary education and teaching our people about financial education so that we can learn what it takes to become financially free. Together, these two measures will support us all in finding the paths that will ultimately lead us to fulfilling futures with prosperity.
Taking a moment to be kind to yourself can make all the difference. Talk to yourself like you would talk to
your best friend, praising their unique kindness, intelligence, and quirks. Offer yourself compliments that are so true -even if you don't quite believe them yet- and reassure yourself in times of difficulty. When mistakes pop up along the way, forgive yourself instead of beating yourself up about it. Remember each mistake is an opportunity for growth and understanding for next time. Celebrate everything that makes you who you are - your distinct personality traits and gifts - embrace them and take pride in them! Look around appreciatively at your blessings both small and large, cherish them deeply and savor the moments with gratitude. Make sure to be there for others with love but also learn when enough is enough for taking care of others; give time back to yourself and do something just for joy's sake now and then! I hope that after reading this post, you treat yourself with a bit more kindness and understanding. We are often our own worst critics and can be much harder on ourselves than we would ever dream of being to someone else. Remember that you are human and deserve compassion - start by showing some to yourself. As this post suggests, showing yourself a little bit of compassion goes a long way towards not only inner peace but also towards being able to treat others with kindness. We are all in this together - there is beauty and solace to be found in connection and community.
Let’s continue the journey of self-compassion and learn from each other!
If you enjoyed this article or found it helpful in any way, please leave a comment or shoot me a message - I would love to hear from you! You can find me on Instagram at @darebear808 - I would love to connect!
Let's connect and continue uplifting each other!
There's also a Facebook community you’re more than welcome to join where I host conversations about self-compassion. Plus regularly drop discussion prompts, where I aim to spark conversation about making humanity whole again. The community is called Formerly Fostered Forever Loved.
Curious to learn more about my story check out the Fearless Fostering podcast!Article written by Dairius Kawewehi| Naval Officer | Commercial Real Estate Investor